


Slither me Timbers

by sausaged



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-18 17:08:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14217792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sausaged/pseuds/sausaged
Summary: You see, the thing with Malfoy is that... he like reptiles. So, in order for Harry to catch a shred Draco's attention at all, is for him to also like reptiles.... Right?Written for DTH fest 2018.





	Slither me Timbers

**Author's Note:**

> for awickedmemory! it's not what i originally imagined, but i hope you will still enjoy it! i literally finished the fic, wasn't happy, scrapped it and rewrote it again. hahaha OTL...
> 
> a huge shout-out to the DTH mod team for all their hard work! and for accommodating me every. single. year.
> 
> thank you very much to Stacey who fed me ALL the REAL snake facts that are in this fic! i tried to put as many as i could in here! <3 and thank you to [touchreceptors](https://archiveofourown.org/users/touchreceptors), who read over the fic for me even tho she's busy busy!! also, i dont know anything about D&D other than a quick google search. i'm sorry.
> 
> all remaining mistakes are my own and i apologize for them in advance!
> 
>    
> prompt #96: Draco is interested in lizards. Harry is interested in Draco. Cue courtship. A cool fictional reptile would be interesting, but totally open to normal Muggle critters, too. Doesn't have to be just lizards. Any sort of reptiles or amphibians are good. I just want a Draco so obsessed with his scaly critters that he doesn't realize that Harry is using them to court him. Or he realizes, but encourages it because he finds it cute?

  
  
  
"So," Ron begins, leaning back in his chair with a menu in his hand. "You've been seeing Malfoy."

The Muggle diner is crowded and warm for a Thursday afternoon, busy with students from a high school nearby. Harry rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. "... Yeah."

"For how long?"

"Uhm... maybe a few months now?"

Harry flinches when his best friend jerks forward and bangs his knee against the table. "What the _fuck_ , Harry! And you didn't even tell me?!" He rubs his knee with watering eyes. "You...! _Bros over hoes_ , mate!"

Harry looks around the diner to check if anyone's turned their heads before placing his head in his hands with a groan. "I _know_ , Ron!! I didn't mean for it to happen!!"

"What do you _mean_ you didn't mean for it to happen?" Harry catches the sight of Ron pressing his fingers to the temples of his head. "You don't just _suddenly_ start seeing someone. You're talking about it as if you were walking down a street and all of a sudden fell into a manhole or something. Or like you were walking down the street and picked up a nice shiny galleon. Seriously, what _happened_?"

"Well," Harry begins, licking his dry lips. "I'm not sure where to start..."

"From the beginning would be nice," Ron mutters with a frown. "Literally how does my _mom_ know that you've been seeing Malfoy before _me_?"

Harry clears his throat.  


\---

  


> Once upon a time, there were two boys named Harry and Draco.

  
"Wait, you call him Draco?"

"Shut up, Ron."

> Harry and Draco went to the same high school together and eventually ended up at the same wizarding university in the middle of London.

  
"I know this part already."

"Okay, do you want to hear this or not?"

> Harry and Draco were not the best of friends, but they tolerated each other. However, because of a research project worth more than half their grade and some extenuating circumstances that led to Harry and Draco becoming partners, they learned how to tolerate each other.
> 
> On their journey of becoming friends (and then maybe something more…?), Harry began to learn many things about Draco that he did not know before. Things such as: he had a Dungeons and Dragons group on Thursday night at Riddle Manor with Tom Riddle, Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, Regulus Black, Bellatrix Lestrange, and Fenrir Greyback (they called themselves the Death Eaters), he helped his mother with the garden sometimes, and he seemed to have an abundance of love for reptiles.

  
"Reptiles," Ron deadpans, blinking at Harry over his chocolate milkshake.

"Snakes, lizards, turtles... your name it, he has it. He's absolutely bonkers about them."

"Why reptiles?"

"Well, you see..."

> "Reptiles are so often misunderstood," Draco said with a soft sigh after a long session of D&D. "Especially snakes. People seem to think they are these scary critters but the fact is that they are almost always more afraid of us than we are of them. They hiss and bite because they are defensive, not because they are aggressive."
> 
> Upon hearing Draco's gentle explanation about reptiles (the way Draco looked when he talked about them was something Harry did not want to witness because it stirred up some funny feelings within him), Harry's fascination with reptiles also grew.
> 
> Out of curiosity, Harry himself began to study up on reptiles. He would read book after book, article after article about these creatures-- enough to garner the basic facts that would allow him to not look confused when engaging in conversation with one Draco Malfoy.

  
"... you studied up reptiles because of him."

Harry rubs his neck again, coupling it with a glare. "No! I... I merely became curious because of him. It's not like I wanted to _impress_ him or anything."

"Uh-huh..." 

"They're really interesting!"

"You studied. Because of him."

> A week or two after the original exchange with Draco, Harry was invited into Draco's room.

  
"So... you went over to his house and he showed you his python."

Harry put his head in his hands with a loud groan. "Ron, why do you make it sound like this?"

Ron leans back in his seat again, crossing his arms with a huff. "So, he _didn't_ show you his python?"

"He did! It was just a glimpse, though."

" _Well_ ?"

"No, Ron."

Ron waggles his eyebrows with a grin. "Was it _good_ ?"

"Merlin, give me strength. Fuck off. Do you want to hear the rest or not?" Harry nods a thank you absently to the waitress who brings their order to the table.

Ron checks his watch before reaching over for his milkshake and making a vague gesture at Harry as if telling him to continue.

> And my, what a wonderful room it was! It was very spacious and very tastefully decorated in various tones of green and grey, colours that seemed to suit the Slytherin very well. In the middle of this luxurious room was queen sized bed with silken sheets and—

  


Harry clears his throat, ignoring Ron's pointed look.

> In the corner of this fantastic room was a heavy wooden door.
> 
> "It leads to the Reptile Room," Draco said, grey eyes sparkling with excitement. "Go on, take a look."
> 
> Harry cautiously opened the door and the breath in his lungs escaped him as he took in the sight.
> 
> Stretching as far as the eyes could see was a magicked space clearly divided into four seasons: Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring. The humidity tingled on his skin and the heat of the magicked Sun warmed up his chilled skin to a perfectly acceptable temperature of thirty five degrees Celsius.

  
"That's hot."

"Yeah, right?" Harry's always had a thing for people who can use magic creatively.

"No, I mean that's _hot_." Ron's tongue lolls out of his mouth and his brows bunch together. "That's not an acceptable temperature at all! You can bake cookies in that heat!"

"Ron, you're exaggerating. Are you telling the story or am I?"

> "Within this magic space, there resides an impressive amount of seventy two different species of reptiles," Draco boasted with pride, reaching out to pet a large king cobra affectionately. "By the way, this is Cookie Dough." 
> 
> By the looks of the king cobra, Harry quickly determined that this snake was obese. Draco was very impressed by the way Harry drew that conclusion before offering Cookie Dough's sad back story from before he was adopted into Draco's family.
> 
> "His previous owner was an asshole who didn't know anything about snakes and fed Cookie Dough whatever he wanted. Now, Cookie Dough is too big and needs to lose weight. He eats only turkey necks and the occasional snake if he’s been good."
> 
> Gazing into the beady eyes of the king cobra, Harry reached out a hand. "Don't be afraid, you will feel better soon."
> 
> "Thankssss," Cookie Dough replied with a hiss.
> 
> As Cookie Dough slithered away, Harry glanced back up at Draco only to see that Draco's sparkling grey eyes had locked onto him. "So, you... can talk to snakes?"
> 
> Harry nodded wordlessly because his Parseltongue was supposed to be a secret but now—

  
"Bullshit, Harry. You let the whole class know about your Parseltongue thing in Year 2 during that duel with Malfoy."

Harry licks his dry lips. "I was creating _nuance_ here, Ron. Adding a bit of drama—"

Ron gags.

> "And snakes... can _talk_ to you?"
> 
> "... Yeah."
> 
> "I am so jealous of you," Draco breathed quietly, awed by Harry's presence as the Snake God.
> 
> Harry barked a laugh. "Why?"
> 
> "Because..." Draco's eyes took on this faraway look before he turned back to Harry with a melancholy expression. "Snakes hide their symptoms very well when they are ill... if only I could understand them, they wouldn't have to suffer. Most of the time, if you don't pay enough attention to details, you might not catch their symptoms until it is too late..."
> 
> In that moment, Harry felt his heart constrict with something like six parts sympathy and and four parts of a mysterious feeling that he had no luck identifying but that he thought felt very similar to the feeling he'd had no words for earlier.
> 
>   
>  For the next few weeks, Draco continued to show Harry around his Reptile Room, teaching him various things about his snakes, Komodo dragons, geckos, and other lizards. For example, there was Miffy the western hognose snake who pooped on herself to smell like decay when playing dead, and Draco's dessert lizards that could only eat cake and not cookies.
> 
> But out of all the creatures Draco had introduced him to; his favourite was Snape, the mini tear dragon.
> 
> Aptly named after the famous Potions Professor who was currently terrorizing Hogwarts, this mini dragon drank nothing but tears and ate nothing but failed papers. Draco said that he received the dragon egg from an acquaintance he met in Rome a few years ago. The breeder claimed that the dragon mutated and evolved somewhere in the late 17th century when its owner was tired of failing his exams in church and the negative emotions spurred the dragon to lick the tears from its owner's face and eat all the papers that had brought its owner so much sadness.
> 
>   
>  After another two weeks passed, Draco announced to Harry that he felt safe to leave his Reptile Room in Harry's care while he travelled to the United States to attend a reptile exhibition he had been invited to speak at.
> 
> Finally, he could put the knowledge he gained regarding the diets of skink lizards and geckos to use! If this did not impress Draco, Harry was sure that nothing would. Excited that Draco had come to trust him so much, Harry jumped on the opportunity to spend some quality time with Draco's beloved reptiles.

  
"What else did you jump on?"

"Nothing, Ron," Harry snipes back with a hiss. "This is a beautiful story. Don't ruin it with your vulgar comments."

Ron rolls his eyes at his best friend. "Seriously, who are you kidding, Harry?"

> However, being alone with the reptiles was not as easy as Harry had thought.
> 
> Before Draco had left, Harry was entrusted with the task of feeding for that week. With reptiles' feeding schedules varying from days to weeks, Draco had meticulously written out the schedule for every day he was gone starting from Wednesday.
> 
> On Wednesday, Draco's flock of pansy lizards would need to be watered. Harry had only seen Malfoy do it once before, but the way the lizards bloomed immediately after being watered was as magical as the first time Harry had held a wand in his hand.
> 
> On Thursday, Cookie Dough would get a single turkey neck. No more, no less. Sebastian the teacup [croconana](http://www.sorbetjungle.com/product/croconana-plush-toy/) would require fresh berries picked from Summer.
> 
> On Friday, Simba the guitar snake, who was best friends with Mufasa the rattle snake, would hold a concert in Spring nearby the fountain... so Harry was to prepare a small catering of bugs and worms as snacks...
> 
> On Saturday, Snape the mini tear dragon would need to be fed. Harry would need to acquire failed papers from Professor Snape the day before to make sure the ink was still fresh and the tears dotting the parchment were still salty.
> 
> On Sunday... Sunday was a rest day. No one needed to be fed on this particular day, but there was a request for Harry to go to Fall and check up on Lady Bitch, as Draco affectionately called her. Lady Bitch was nearly due for her annual clutch of eggs, so it was best to check up on her condition just in case she became egg bound.
> 
> On Monday, Angela the Trouser Snake would need to be fed— a small mouse would do.
> 
> On Tuesday, Jasmine would need to be fed. Harry remembered her as an Ice Snake hiding in the Winter corner of Draco's reptile room, leaving behind small trails of ice in her wake whenever she bothered slithering around. She was a slightly bigger snake, so she might require a rat compared to Angela.
> 
> Draco would be due back at the Manor on Tuesday evening.

  
"So you stayed over the whole time."

Harry shakes his head. "I didn't."

"But you had permission to use his Floo... _whenever_ ?"

"Well… If you put it that way..."

"He literally gave you the keys to his kingdom. If he doesn't want to bone you, then I don't know what he's thinking."

> When Sunday came along and Harry went to visit Lady Bitch, he found her missing from her nest. Other than a single wet-looking egg in her space, she was nowhere to be found.
> 
> Harry, filtering through the abundance of unnecessary reptile knowledge he’d crammed into his mind for the sole purpose of not impressing Draco, quickly managed to track down Lady Bitch with the help of Marilyn, his favourite garden snake. It seemed as though Lady Bitch was having trouble passing her eggs and would possibly require extra help. Harry quickly prepared to perform an aspiration to help Lady Bitch to drain her eggs and help her pass them—

  
"You stabbed his snake."

"... with a syringe."

"You _stabbed_ it."

"To drain the stuff inside the eggs and implode them so she can pass them easier."

"... Harry, you _stabbed his snake_ ."

> "You stabbed my snake."
> 
> "Draco, she was in trouble and so much pain."
> 
> "You stabbed her without my permission."
> 
> "Draco—"
> 
> "You could have killed her if anything got into her coelomic cavity!" 
> 
> "But nothing did and she's all and well." Harry glared at Draco, crossing his arms stubbornly. "If you don't want me back here, then that's fine. But I won't say I'm sorry because I saved her life."
> 
> Draco gaped like a fish out of water because he knew Harry was right, but something, fundamentally, was keeping him from admitting so. Perhaps it could be that in another timeline, they were sworn enemies and Harry had refused to be his friend because Draco made a jackass comment about Hermione that was completely uncalled for or something... but no one could be too sure about where that thought came from. “You're not a professional," he managed to mumble, kicking at a spot on the ground. 
> 
> "No, but I watched a YouTube video."
> 
> "A what?"

  
"See, what did I say? You don't go around stabbing people's snakes, Harry."

"I watched a YouTube video!"

> In return for his snake's life, Draco offered to take Harry out to dinner instead of apologizing like a normal person, where he showed his gratitude by ordering a nice bottle of wine along with their meals.

  


\---

  
"Was that it?"

"Was what it?" Harry blinks up at Ron who narrows his eyes at him over the metal rim of his milkshake cup.

"Was that how you started to go out with Malfoy?"

"Pfft, no, Weasley, that's not even half of it," Harry jerks as Malfoy slides into the booth next to him, his arm casually stretching around Harry's shoulders like the smooth fucker he is.

Ron raises an eyebrow.

"Go on, Harry. Why don't you tell him how you wooed me with everything you've got during that dinner?"

Harry tugs on his collar, his ears itching with heat.  


\---

  


> "Hey, did you know that snakes have two penises?"
> 
> Draco nearly spat out his wine as he looked up at Harry, who seemed concentrated on something other than the fantastic dinner laid out in front of him. "... pardon?"
> 
> Draco watched as Harry pushed up his glasses, fingers fidgeting with the edge of the tablecloth. "They have spines and spicules and hooks to lock their penises in place while copulating."
> 
> "I... see..."
> 
> "And some reptiles are known to exhibit homosexual behaviours too."
> 
> Draco nodded along with Harry's enthusiastic outburst, looking down at his dinner with a small hint of wonder. What _exactly_ was it that Harry had found so fascinating about reptiles? Just about a few months ago, they were just research project partners who happened to play D &D together (and the only reason why Draco participated was because the name of the game had the word "dragon" in it, just like how Snakes and Ladders was his favourite board game).
> 
> But alas, Draco was not a dense idiot when it came to emotions and drew the conclusion of Harry being... perhaps... maybe... attracted to him... This conclusion was drawn not without the help of Draco's larger-than-normal ego and the knowledge of his good looks, of course. Armed with this possibly life-changing information, Draco decided to fan the flames a little bit more. There was nothing wrong with another reptile lover in this world even if they started out with all the wrong reasons.

  
"That's ridiculous. I never spouted that nonsense at dinner."

Malfoy is smirking like a cat that got the cream, reaching over to dip a soggy chip into ketchup before waggling his eyebrows at Ron. "Did he tell you about the python joke yet?"

Ron slaps the table with a cheer, sitting back down with a flush on his neck when a few younger patrons glance over with a murmur. He leans closer with a grin, "I knew there was going to be something fun about the python. Tell me, Malfoy."

Harry slinks further down in his seat.

> A month after the whole aspiration fiasco and Lady Bitch being less angry at him for exploding in anger at Harry (yeah, yeah, Harry did save her life), Draco found himself settling into some sort of routine with Harry.
> 
> Of course, since Draco had switched places with Harry as the storyteller, Draco was not sure what Harry's intentions were when he began the story... nevertheless, Draco became rather comfortable with Harry dropping by unannounced and bringing treats for his reptiles (silkworms, cockroaches, boiled eggs... etc.) and seemingly feeding his way into the hearts of all the creatures within his Reptile Room. 
> 
> Well... not that Draco was _too_ opposed to Harry's constant presence, since no one had ever shown as much interest in his Reptile Room other than Mr Riddle (or well, Lord Voldemort, as his Dungeon Master preferred to be called). It did not help that Draco found Harry speaking Parseltongue more than intriguing (he avoided the word _hot_ , since whenever Harry spoke Parseltongue, there were no physical reactions from his nether regions whatsoever— none at all) and it did help around the Room whenever he was having troubles communicating with his reptiles.
> 
> "Bob is asking for you," Harry said with a tilt of his head. Marilyn mimicked the movement before curling herself around Harry's pale neck.
> 
> "My python?"
> 
> "He says he's feeling a little weird. I think he's shedding again."
> 
> "Well, he's growing all the time. Sooner or later, he'll be six feet long."
> 
> "You know what; I've never actually seen your python apart from that glimpse I had the first time I came over. I've heard him here and there since it doesn't seem like he minds talking to me, but it's like he's actually too shy to show himself to me."
> 
> "The occasion needs to be right before he reveals himself, you know. It's the mood, place, and time. Besides, what if you don't like the way he looks? Maybe the shedding gave him a little hood at the top... or maybe even a bald spot."
> 
> Harry blinked. "Why wouldn't I like the way he looks? A hood or a bald spot won't make a difference, right?"

  
"No." Ron says with a mock gasp.

"Yes." Draco replies with a leer.

Harry pushes his face into his hands. "STOP."

> This whole domesticity was something Draco had grown fond of-- having someone who was able to understand his passion for reptiles (especially snakes) and able to take care of them whenever he went to reptile conventions and exhibitions.
> 
> Eventually, Harry's insistent presence won him a seat at the Malfoy dinner table.
> 
> Draco figured that would be the case—they were always together, they might as well be dating anyway. Besides, the commute to the university was closer from the Manor compared to where Harry was living at back home (but Draco knew it didn’t make a difference if Harry wanted to take the Floo instead of his broomstick to school, so he'd take whatever excuse Harry threw at him).
> 
> "Harry, would you like seconds, dear?"
> 
> "N-no, thank you, Mrs Malfoy."
> 
> "Just Narcissa is fine, dear. Anyone who is able to put up with Draco's snakes is welcome at this table."
> 
> Harry nodded shyly before twisting more fettuccini into his fork.
> 
> "Thank you very much for such a lovely dinner, Narcissa," Lily said with a smile before standing up to help Narcissa with the dishes. "Here. Please, let me."

  
"... Your parents met and had dinner together."

Malfoy and Harry exchange a look before nodding.

"That's natural, isn't it? Harry's been spending almost every day over at my place now."

Harry shrugs a shoulder, pushing the rest of his soggy chips towards Malfoy who scarfs it down with gusto. Ron is not too sure how to feel about Malfoy enjoying soggy chips. "They were getting curious about ‘the Malfoy boy’," Harry rolls his eyes as he air quotes himself.

Malfoy snorts and Ron becomes increasingly confused because this sounds more like something else other than Harry suddenly finding himself in a relationship with Malfoy.

> "I don't mind being a grand-dad, you know?" James hiccupped into his glass, staring into the wine with a morose look in his eyes. "But which one am I supposed to favour when I've got so many grandchildren?"
> 
> "Fair point, Potter," Lucius slur-drawled, crossing his legs primly as he gazed into the flickering fire in the den. "I'm already having troubles trying to decide which ones I am the least repulsed by. No Malfoy heir can be born from an egg, of all things."
> 
> "Father, Harry gave birth to a litter of live-born snakes, not eggs."
> 
> "Gah! What’s it matter— our elven line is doomed!" Lucius threw back the rest of his wine before pouring himself and James another glass. "At least they will be able to defend themselves because they are poisonous."
> 
> "Venomous, Father—"
> 
> "Draco—" Lucius began threateningly before he slumped in his seat with a pout. "I was hoping our grandchildren would end up looking more like Legolas."

  


\---

  
"Wait wait wait wait," Ron holds up a hand, looking from Harry to Malfoy. "You guys... are just going out right now, right?"

Malfoy and Harry looks at each other again before nodding. "Well, yeah. I mean that was what the ceremony was for, right?"

Ron chokes, "Ceremony—?!"

"Ron! I'm sorry I was running late— Oh! Harry, Draco, perfect. We're just about to head over to Riddle Manor for dinner." Hermione smooths out the wrinkles on her robes before clapping her hands together with a grin. "Shall we get going?"

"Wait. Hermione, they were just telling me about the ceremony—"

"Oh! It was a beautiful affair, really. Almost everyone attended!" Hermione pauses, turning to Malfoy and Harry with a small frown. "But I must say your decision to have babies before marriage in the middle of a campaign really makes me wonder..."

Malfoy raises his hands in surrender. "Hey, I may have married him because he was carrying my children, but it doesn’t mean that I don't love him." 

"From what I heard, you only married him because _Lord Voldemort_ decided that that was the right thing to do. Well either or, that's good. Harry literally built his character as snakey as he could for you, you know? It was apparently pretty hard to convince Lord Voldemort to accept an echidna in his campaign. Harry got nerfed quite a bit as a compromise."

Harry flushes indignantly. "Hermione, you promised you wouldn't tell him!"

Hermione shrugs. "You guys are going out now anyway. You literally cannot be any more embarrassed when you’ve been naked in front of him— in character and out."

Harry splutters and Malfoy’s eternal smirk widens. "I like you, Granger. Why _didn’t_ we hang out more during school?"

Ron glances between the three of them before realization dawns. "... is this..."

"Dungeons and Dragons? Yeah. Harry and Draco got married recently and they finally started dating in real life too. Lord Voldemort's campaign is getting bigger and bigger now that he joined up with Arthur's campaign. Everyone from both campaigns was invited to the wedding after Harry failed to roll for birth control. It was the only way Lord Voldemort could stop Draco, especially when he refused to stop rolling for the mating balls. Now, they have about twelve children together." Hermione drums her fingers on her arm and looks down at Ron with an unimpressed look on her face. "This is what you get for always watching Quidditch with Seamus and them on Thursday nights instead of hanging out with us— you miss out on all the gossip."

"B-but... the children...?"

"Ahh, never _mind_ the children! Just hurry, Lord Voldemort doesn't like to be kept waiting. I finally got you free on a Thursday night and I’ve literally been bouncing with anticipation for this week’s campaign! This is _more_ exciting than Gilderoy Lockhart's new book about how to build beautiful and overpowered characters in D &D without making your DM hate you."

Trailing behind Hermione and a still confused Ron, Malfoy snakes his hand into Harry's and squeezes it with a small smile, the one he reserves for his reptiles, as they head towards the second floor of the muggle diner. "You know what, I didn't expect to end up like this with you at all. But here we are."

Harry shakes his head. "I don't know how spending so much time with you ended up with us in a sudden relationship."

"Well, it just sort of progressed that way, didn't it? I didn't really expect this either, since these things just sort of... _slither_ up on you, huh?"

"Draco..."

"Hopefully you won't think this is a misssssstake."

Harry chokes on a chortle and shakes his head again. "C'mon, let's hurry up before Tom gets angry."

Draco rolls his shoulder leisurely as he steps up to the Floo. "Well, at least let me show you my python when we get home."

"As long as you don't make me roll for protection again, you dolt."  


\---

  
_… how it all actually began (not according to Draco or Harry)..._

Harry watches intently as Draco's tongue pokes out from between his lips, eyes squeezing in concentration as he shakes his cupped hands in a silent prayer. "Roll for snake transformation."

" _No_ , Draco, you are _not_ going into the mating ball," Snape hisses as he looks up from his character sheet before shooting a look over at the older Malfoy. " _Stop him_ , Lucius. Our campaign's been delayed since we came across a dragon's nest last week!"

Malfoy senior shrugs. "I believe you are talking to the wrong person, Severus. It's up to our Dungeon Master to decide this." Harry tears his gaze away from the younger Malfoy for a moment to watch their Dungeon Master, sitting at the forefront of the dining table, looking as wise as the Sorcerer he always is. "Mr. Riddle?"

"Lord Voldemort," Mr. Riddle corrects Malfoy senior with a small tut. The man turns to Draco with a small nod. "You may roll," he pauses for a moment before catching Harry’s eye and grinning wickedly. "Only if Potter agrees to join the mating ball."

Harry blinks. "… Uh… I mean that’s… not... uhm... sure?" He doesn't know what to make of the winks and thumbs up Tom is throwing at him from across the table. Surely his impure motives of making his character a mythological echidna couldn't have been found out... right?

Draco whips the d20 die across the table and the whole table collectively groans in exasperation.

  


"Okay, so I really wasn't expecting my harem of snakes to become a part of my animal army," Malfoy says, stretching his long limbs with a half smirk hanging from his lips. "It was definitely a lucky roll. You, on the other hand,” Malfoy chuckles, "weren’t so lucky with that roll for protection."

Harry huffs. "Tom was roaring with laughter when I landed that 1. Ugh, I hope nothing really comes of it… It would suck if I got pregnant because of that..." He makes a face. "... can I even _get_ pregnant?" 

Malfoy shrugs. 

"Oh, by the way, I still can't believe you rolled to steal the dragon eggs last week— it was suicide with the way Snape was glaring at your from across the table." Harry dusts himself off as he moves away from the Floo, peering over at Malfoy curiously. The bustling noise of the Leaky Cauldron seems to dull in his ears when he opens his mouth to speak next, "Seriously, what's with you and reptiles anyway?"

Malfoy blinks, somehow caught off-guard by Harry's question. "Well..." Malfoy pauses for a moment, pinning Harry down with an intense and calculating gray gaze as if trying to gauge whether or not Harry's question was genuine or not. Harry shivers. "If... you're _really_ interested," Malfoy begins slowly, "why don't you drop by Malfoy Manor next week before our session? You can come pet my python. It's about four feet long right now."

And Harry, somehow caught off-guard by Malfoy's sincere invitation (he had expected a snarky reply of _what's it to you, Potter?_ ) can only blink, nod and reply, "Sure. It'll be my first time seeing a snake in person and all... So, don't be too hard on me, okay?"

Malfoy grins, shoving his hands into the pockets of his robes before shrugging a shoulder languidly. "I'm sure you'll be a snake charmer in no time."  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! all comments, kudos, and bookmarks are appreciated. :)


End file.
